The Bribe^3

The Bribe

“error. what are you doing here?”

“jUsT vIsItInG fOr sOmE fUn.”

“really…” Sans trailed off as his eye sockets found something on the table.

“here, read this and tell me what you think of it.”

The thin stack of paper was lifted over to the intruding skeleton. Error humored the request, he would destroy this universe right after.

There was silence, interspersed with the sound of rustling pages. Sans started to back away, hopefully he would have the chance to contact help. At least the house was empty right now…

He did not get far before blue strings entangled him. Error stalked forward. “wHeRe’S tHe rEsT?”

When Sans did not answer, the strings tightened their grip. “relevart only wrote that outline. she’s not here anymore.”

Error snatched the papers and released the strings. “i’Ll bE tAkInG tHiS aNd i wOn’T dEsTrOy tHiS gLiTcH.”

With that the skeleton hopped through a portal. Seconds after another portal opened and Ink appeared instead. “i heard error showed up?”

Sans nodded in confusion. “yeah, he just left after taking some papers.”

“What was on those papers?”

“Just an outline for a soap opera/drama.”

Ink paled. “that’s not good, do you know who wrote it? they are in danger!”

Sans shrugged. “not sure, not here though. error should not be able to reach them.”

“i hope you’re right. the only thing that would make this worse if whoever wrote that could also bake really well.”

Sans froze then relaxed, from what he remembered he had never seen Relevart bake, only cook.

Bribe Continued

“tHe tErMs oF oUr aGrEeMeNt nEeD tO bE cHaNgEd.”

“What? Why? It’s not like I can write this thing any faster. I still need to plan all this out!”

“i wIlL aLsO rEqUiRe a bAg oF cHoCoLaTe cOoKiEs eAcH tImE.”

“……..Fine I’ll keep some in stock since I can’t be here all the time. Anything…else?”

“nO. hAvE tHe fIrSt ePiSoDe rEaDy sOon.”

Error leaves the house through his portal.

I groan. “Did I not just say that I needed time for this? Might as well get started on the cookies, I guess I have a new tester.”

Bribe Finale

Error was about to destroy yet another AU (alternate universe) with help from his companions. Ink and other Sanses stood against the force of destruction but were at a slight disadvantage. Bones, energy blasts and other attacks littered the air.

The battlefield was getting torn apart, thankfully there was no one except the skeletons in the area. There had been enough time for most inhabitants to evacuate somewhere.

“wHy dOn’T yOu jUsT gIvE uP? tHiS wOrLd wIlL bE dEsTrOyEd.”

“no way error! you have to be stopped!” Ink brandished his paintbrush.

Nightmare scoffed, his tentacles waved in anticipation of more fighting. Facing him, Dream readied his bow with a frown. The two sides of skeletons faced off.

Before the battle restarted again – “Error! I finally found you! You are -”

Claire walked out of a portal wearing an apron and her hair tied into a ponytail. “…late?” She trailed off upon seeing all the skeletons. “Am I interrupting something?”

“WHO ARE YOU?” Blueberry asked. The question was in most of the other’s minds.

“A pleasure to meet you. My name is Claire.” She wondered if the Sans from her jump was here or if there was a different one.

She turned back to Error. “You should have told me you were busy, I could have done something else instead of looking for you.” She waved a hand and prepared to leave.

Then Claire spun away as a tentacle tried to grab her. “What was that for?”

“you should stick around. i haven’t seen you around before.” Nightmare smirked.

“No thank you. I have things to do, so I’ll get out of your way. Sorry for interrupting the battle.”

Claire tried to leave, except the portal had disappeared, leaving a letter on the ground. She picked up the envelope and read the contents. “That bastard…there’s still a few days until the next thing and yet…”

With a sigh she turned to the opposing sides of skeletons. “Sorry about this, I am going to be stuck here for a while. You all just continue on and not pay me any mind.”

“that’s not good, error is trying to destroy the world. you need to get out of here.” Ink exclaimed and Claire paused.

“Oh, Error I guess you cannot destroy this world right now at least.”

“oH rEaLlY? aNd wHy wOuLd i nOt?” His strings whipped threateningly.

“If I’m gone then how would you get your shipment and resolve that cliffhanger? I also have these.” Claire brought out a large container.

Error froze to the surprise of the rest of the skeletons. “aRe tHoSe…?”

“I did a bit of experimenting since I just visited a place with amazing ingredients. I’m pretty sure that these are at least a third more delicious than before. There’s even enough for everyone to share.” She turned to the other skeletons. “Would you all like some cookies as well?”

“um…sure?” Ink said in confusion.

“wHy aRe tHeY gEtTiNg cOoKiEs tOo?” Error scowled.

“It would not be polite if I did not offer them any. Besides, I did not forget that you are trying to destroy an alternate universe, your friends can also have a snack. Everyone will have a nice break and then leave peacefully.”

“oh? and what is weak thing like you going to do about it if i don’t want to leave in peace?” Nightmare sneered.

Claire twitched. “Well, for one, I am not that weak…” She brought out frying pan and swung.

Nightmare was comically sent flying into the sky and turned into a star. “There, he won’t be bothering this for a little while. Cookie anyone?”

Claire had laid out a picnic blanket after putting the pan away. “Here, Error, you can have the first one.”

He took it, had a bite, then immediately hoarded half of the baked goods. Claire sighed but since half were still there, she said nothing.

Each skeleton received a cookie to enjoy and the battle had been effectively cancelled. Some looked uneasily at Error, who frowned and turned away. Once the snack was done, Claire perked up. “Oh, looks like I can go home now. Here’s some extra for later. I’ll see you later!”

She handed a smaller container to Error and walked through a portal with a jaunty wave.

An awkward silence ensued. “so…” A skeleton asked.

Nightmare reappeared. “finally back. where did she go?”

“wHaTeVeR.” Error hopped into one of his portals. With a shrug, his compatriots left as well.

“well, that just happened.” Ink scratched his skull.

“BUT THE WORLD IS NOW SAFE!” Blueberry posed heroically.

“make no mistake, we should find a way to get some of those to bribe error with in the future.”


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